Doin' the dang thang.

We're in Orlando for a few days off...I'm finding it difficult to entertain myself, which has lead me to do what I should be doing anyway, which is work. I'm getting my ducks in a row. I'm aligning all the pieces of the "get-back-to-my-own-life-and-career" puzzle, so that when I actually am home for a while, I can hit the ground running. It feels good. I haven't felt productive for sometime, and now that I do, it seems longer that I haven't. At any rate, it makes me happy and excited. I can't wait to show you all what I've been working on!

For your eyes: some photos from my time at home between the Europe and US tours. :)

The jetty at Dana Point Harbor

Homemade apple-cinnamon jam and butter with orange zest to yummy up that whole wheat toast at Ramos House Cafe in San Juan Capistrano (we went for Father's Day!)

The LA "River" as seen from my south bound train from LA to Orange County

Paddle surfing! If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend doing so.

Llama.

Giant cacti.

Emu.

Summer Playlist

I missed Coachella this year, because the same weekend in April that all of my friends were trekking out to the desert, braving the heat, dust, and crowds of hipsters, I was flying East to begin the first leg of a world tour. I went the year before, and decided then that in addition to my yearly trip out to the Sundance Film Festival in Utah, (to actually watch movies, not just participate in the social scene) it would be a staple in my annual extra-curricular schedule. We had SO much fun. I can't wait for next April and the one after that, where I hope to go as a performer. Just putting that into the universe! :)

Basically, in case you haven't figured this out by now, I love music. I am in love with music and everything that it makes you think, feel, do, close your eyes and imagine... There are a number of outlets from which I satiate my hunger for the new and current; of course the music websites, Pandora, itunes, Pitchfork, Rolling Stone, etc. BUT, My favorite avenue is my awesome and oh-so-culturally-aware friends. (Eric Rippin, I'm talking about you!) So in an effort to share the wealth, I've put together a playlist of tunes I'm listening to over and over again right now. Some new, some old, all good. Hope you enjoy it, maybe there are a few things on here you haven't heard yet, and if so, I am excited to introduce you...ENJOY! :)

Feast your ears on this: (in no particular order...)

1. Fancy Footwork - Chromeo

2. Heartbreaker (feat. John Legend) - MSTRKRFT

3. Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine

4. Englishman in New York - Sting

5. Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap

6. Nothing to Worry About - Peter, Bjorn and John

7. Pull My Heart Away - Jack Peñate

8. You Haven't Told me Anything - Keane

9. Crossfire - Brandon Flowers

10. Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

11. My Girls - Animal Collective

12. You Know What - N.E.R.D.

13. Anti Matter - N.E.R.D.

14. Iamundernodisguise - School Of Seven Bells

15. Only If You Run - Julian Plenti

16. Walkabout (with Noah Lennox) - Atlas Sound

17. Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros

18. Run Johnny - Yelawolf

19. Tenderoni (MSTRKRFT Remix) - Chromeo

20. Her Morning Elegance - Oren Lavie

Full.

To describe how much I'm feeling right now, I would need a dump truck full of made up words. My body - exhausted, limiting, and on the upswing of a brief but violent sick spell, and mind, the same. The biggest part of my life, the thing I spend the most time doing, and the thing that allows me to live comfortably is currently the Last Girl On Earth Tour. Recently while performing in it, it's felt more like watching a movie that I also happen to be involved in, rather than the usual adrenaline-rushing, emotion-swelling, smile-generating activity that my heart beats and my voice lives for. I haven't written on this blog about tour in a while because I felt like I should have only positive things to say...but we're humans, and thats not always how life is, and I think that honesty is best and always more interesting. Besides, denial sucks. I miss my friends and I miss my family and I miss my boyfriend. I miss the awesome work I was getting into while at home, and performing shows with "my" band. So there.

That being said...

Tonight, our first headlining tour show in the US was in Sacramento, California. The arena was large, but shallow in depth, so I could see all the way back to the very back row. It was oddly calming. As I looked out at the arms waving, the faces yelling and cheering, and the moves being "busted," (because honestly, that's exactly what some of them were! ;) it suddenly felt so...real. I was overcome by how much love and joy was in that room. And then I remembered: I love performing because it makes people happy, and feeling that happiness radiating back and forth between the stage and the house is where the adrenaline and the high comes from. I had briefly forgotten and performing the show had been, for a time, a selfish act I was looking to "get something" from. I was frustrated with other things and looking to the stage to heal me, when I should have been looking just a little further.

I am SO grateful to be able to travel around and play some part, no matter the size, in bringing smiles to the faces of so many people. Actually, I'm blown away by it. Watching the audience tonight, I was struck by the span of this woman's reach. There were upwards of 17,000 people there this evening, and that is just ONE city. In just ONE country! This woman whom I have come to know as a spirited, fun-loving, compassionate and pretty normal girl, all things considered, has been able to touch so many lives with her art. Wow. I love that something like that is even possible. To anyone reading this and planning on attending a future date on our tour, keep jumping and waving and smiling, because I can see you.

Love

Thoughts on this topic have been running around in my brain recently, and I have been wanting to write this entry for a while. Growing up is a funny/interesting/painful/wonderful inevitability. My favorite part about it is figuring out why I act and react the way I do to certain things, which in turn allows me to more fully understand why others act and react the way they do towards certain things.

The thoughts and knee-jerk reactions I have previously had regarding "Love" have recently been exposed and placed in the center ring for no one else but me, myself, and I to watch passively and note the horrific disfunction.

Mind blowing discovery #1: Love is not something to fear, or to fear the loss of. This seems like common sense, obviously. However, it is human nature to want what we cannot have. To hold onto that which is scarce. Love is not a supply-demand kind of business. Love should be always abundant. Not smothering, but active, aware.

Love is not tumultuous - it is peaceful, and that serenity comes from confidence in oneself and in the relationship. I can't tell you how many times I have made excuses and convinced myself that I was the one who was wrong for feeling upset, disappointed, or left high and dry. Its almost as if people love and thrive off of the drama, the pull and the abuse of a "relationship." At least they have something to vent about to their friends (or on a blog, haha).

Here's a bible verse that you have probably heard read at nearly every wedding you've ever attended; rightfully so, because it rings true, now, for me, more than ever.

"Love is patient, Love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast.

It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,

and endures all things."

Corinthians 13:4-7